All posts by Angela Harrison

Angela is a writer and poet from the backwoods of Texas. She writes fantasy, romance, and horror. Not usually in the same story, but sometimes. She has walked through fire; therefore she may occasionally leave sparkles in her wake.

A Very Witchy New Year

“New Years Eve” she muttered to herself darkly, “bah humbug, who cares!”

She slogged through the drizzle morosely. It has been drizzling all day. She hated drizzle. It was such a wimpy, indecisive thing. If you’re going to rain, then go ahead and rain! If not, just stop with the nasty drizzling pellets already. She felt them stinging her as she walked. It was cold. You never knew in Texas what you were going to get for New Years Eve, weather-wise.

She remembered the year she and her sister had played outside on New Years Eve wearing tank tops and shorts. There were pictures of them frolicking in the sunny Texas heat. There were also pictures of them the very next day bundled up in coats, gloves and scarves, shivering against the cold while posing for the picture.

The thought of her sister only darkened her mood more. Amelie was the reason she was out here in this nastiness. She could be at a New Years Eve party, in the warm, dry penthouse apartment of her boss Peter Sullivan, toasting the New Year with friends and coworkers in New York City, drinking champagne and eating from a smorgasbord that cost more than her car. Instead, she was trudging through the streets after dark in the freezing drizzle of a Texas backwater town in the middle of nowhere.

The call had come in early that morning, just her sister insisting she needed her help, that it was an emergency, that she couldn’t say more over the phone and no, it couldn’t wait until after the holiday. So Shannon had boarded the first flight out she could catch, flown into DFW then rented a car to take her where she needed to go.

Arriving at the address her sister had given her, she found an empty house. Amelie was not answering her cell phone and the house looked like a struggle had ensued. Great.

Shannon pulled a gun from the holster clipped under her jacket and cautiously made her way through the house. In an upstairs bedroom she found her sisters phone. That explained why she wasn’t answering it. It also made it clear that she hadn’t left of her own volition. No way Amelie would have left her phone behind.

A sound from the master bath got her attention and she slowly made her way to the door. Pushing the door opening cautiously with her foot while keeping both hands on the Ruger 9mm in her hands, she peered into the dimly lit room. A black cat regarded her suspiciously from the counter. Tucking the gun away she moved into the room and spoke to it.

“It’s ok kitty, I’m just looking for my sister.” She said soothingly, “Don’t suppose you know where she went, do you?” she asked as the searched the room for clues.

The cat was solid black with bright yellow eyes and its tail swished back and forth as it continued to track her every move.

“I might.” A voice said.

Shannon spun around and yanked the ruger from its holster. She swung it around the room searching for the source of the voice but there was no one there. No one but the cat. She turned incredulously toward it.

“You didn’t just…….” She trailed off as she shook herself. Of course the cat didn’t just speak! It was a cat!

“I did” the voice said and this time it was unmistakably coming from the cat.

“Wha—“ she began, “I need to sit down” she said as she backed into the bedroom and sank onto the chair in the corner.

Shannon Murphy was a trained investigator. She worked for one of New York City’s premier private investigative firms. Peter Sullivan had gotten filthy rich off the firm he owned that provided both PI work and private security. Shannon was one of his protégés, on a rocket train to the top. She had the highest clearance rate in the agency while also being one of the youngest. She was a rock star and she’d seen a lot. But never a talking cat.

But Shannon was practical if she was anything. If she heard a cat speak with her own two ears, then that cat spoke! Her observation skills were one of her best assets after all. She couldn’t afford to start doubting herself now. If the cat had information about her sisters whereabouts, then she would find her sister first and deal with the shock and impossibility of a talking cat later.

“Where?” She asked, instead of the other thousands questions that were running through her head. Like how the hell can you talk or am I losing my fucking mind?

“I said I MIGHT know” the cat replied as it jumped off the bathroom counter and sauntered into the bedroom like it was a normal cat or something.

“There was a man here with a gun who was very insistent that she go with him because he needed a witch.”

“A witch?” she asked in disbelief. But why not? She was talking to a cat after all.

“Yes, surely you knew your own sister was a witch, right?” the cat asked incredulously.

“Hey!” she said defensively. Talking was one thing, but she was not going to be judged by a cat! It was a cat, what gave it the right to judge her? “Amelie and I haven’t been that close for awhile.” She said in way of a defense. A weak one, she knew.

Her parents had died, she and Amelie had had a falling out and she had left town and never looked back. She felt a flush of guilt. She had thought Amelie was flighty, not responsible, partied too much, hung out with the wrong kind of people, was in short, throwing her life away. The life that their parents had worked so hard to give them. The college education that their parents had worked so hard to provide just thrown out the window when Amelie decided to drop out after one semester. Her crazy new age ideas….

Maybe not so crazy after all?

“An actual witch?” She asked skeptically, “Like a spell casting, magic using witch?”

The cat gazed at her coolly, “Do you know any other kind?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t know any actual, real life witches. People who say they practice witchcraft, read crystals, palms, tarot cards, whatever, those are just crackpot new age shysters, right?”

“If you say so.” The cat replied as it licked it’s paw.

“Ok, whatever,” She exploded, “this isn’t the time to reexamine my beliefs! Where is my sister?”

“I overhead the man with gun on the phone mention the local hardware store. So I’m guessing he took her there.”

The cat had insisted on accompanying her. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought she’d be tracking her sister, who was a witch, with a cat for backup. A cat!

She had parked the rental car and was now walking through the mud and cold around the back of the local hardware store. How in the hell could her sister be a witch and not have told her? You weren’t the most supportive sister a voice whispered in the back of her mind. Dismissing the stab of guilt as yet another thing to examine later, she made her way to a window and peered in.

Getting the lay of the land and seeing no signs of anyone moving inside the store, she hurried around to the back of the building to look for a way in. As she stepped toward the door she heard a voice say, “Freeze!”

She instinctively reached for her gun, but found herself frozen in place. She literally could not move. She lifted her eyes to the woman standing in front of her. Tall but not taller than herself, blonde, curvy, the woman stood with her hands outstretched pointed toward her, holding the spell in place.

“I warned you!” the blond woman yelled.

“I—who—what?” Shannon tried vainly to move.

Looking closer at the woman in front of her, Shannon gasped in surprise, “Karen??”

“Shannon?” Karen sounded equally as shocked at seeing her, she dropped her hands and Shannon found that she could move again.

“That’s a pretty neat trick!” she said as she tried not to notice the rain had made the tight fitting clothes the other woman was wearing cling to her body even more closely. Clung in a way that made Shannons heart rate increase a notch or two.

She noticed. Flushing, she ducked her head and nodded, “Sorry about that! Come on then, let’s find your sister!”

As Shannon fumbled for her lock pick kit, Karen simply reached out toward the knob, made a turning motion in the air and the door swung open. Shannon motioned for Karen to go around the left side of the store while she veered to the right, gun back in her hand. She couldn’t let Karen’s blue eyes, or their shared past, distract her now. She couldn’t spare the time right now to reflect on how Karen had been her first girlfriend, the one who convinced her to come out to her family. Nor did she have time to reflect on the painful breakup that had been the real impetus for her flight to New York. She had to find her sister.

It was the cat that found the trap door in the back of the store room. Opening it, the trio descended the stairs into a small room where Amelie sat tied to a chair. Oh, how cliché!

Before she could go more than a few feet into the room, a man appeared from behind a shelf. She swung the gun toward him as Karen disarmed him with the wave of her hand. If Karen could do all that, how the hell had Amelie gotten taken hostage in the first place Shannon wondered. It didn’t matter. In a flash, she was in front of the man, toppling him to the ground with a well placed sweep of her foot. Kneeling with her knee in his chest and the gun pointed at his face she ordered Karen to untie her sister.

It seems Karen had the same thought Shannon had, “How did this happen?” She was asking as she released Amelie from her bonds.

“I’m not sure” the small, dark haired woman answered, “I think he had someone working with him, a witch!” she exclaimed.

“A witch?” Karen squeaked in alarm, “What witch?”

As if in answer, a fireball zoomed toward them, Amelie now free, threw her hands up and blocked the blast as the two women rolled out of the way. The cat  darted under a table.

“What the hell?” Shannon screamed as she rolled for cover herself.

Now free, the man jumped up from the floor and ran toward Amelie. Shannon didn’t think or hesitate, her sister was in danger, she aimed the gun and pulled the trigger. The man fell. She glanced around the room, but did not see the person who had thrown the fireball.

“I think she ran away” Amelie confirmed, “She knew she was outnumbered.”

An hour later the three women and the cat were back in Amelies kitchen, dry, sipping hot tea. Shannon was looking expectantly at her wayward sister, “A witch?” she asked again.

It put everything into a different light. Her sister wasn’t flighty or ridiculously new age-y. She was a bonafide, real life, spell casting witch! And apparently so was her ex girlfriend. Maybe she had been wrong about………everything.

“Well yeah, it’s a long story” Amelie smiled weakly at her sister.

Glancing at Karen as the clock struck midnight, Shannon was suddenly happy to be in the backwoods of Texas instead of a posh New York penthouse. Leaning back in her chair, cradling her cup of tea she replied, “I have time.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Forget New Years Resolutions

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Happiness comes from within. Sounds so cliche, right? But it’s true. Look at a child. Their joy for life is really simple. I’m telling you that happiness is a choice. You don’t need new years resolutions, you need a shift in focus.

What you focus on, is what you increase. This is common knowledge in the field of child development. We tell parents all the time that you must focus on the behavior you want to increase, not the one you want to decrease. As long as it’s safe to do so (they are not going to harm themselves, others or property) ignore the bad behavior and focus on the good. Praise the positive. “I love the way you just shared with your friend!” You will get more of the behaviors that you praise.

It’s the same in our own lives. Focus on the negative and that is all you’ll see. We all have negatives and positives. It’s what you focus on that determines if you feel satisfied or not. For example, I could focus on not making as much money as I feel I should be at this point in my career, the things I don’t have and be miserable all the time because compared to my wealthier friends and family, my life is sad. I could see it that way.

Or I could choose to focus on the fact that I do a job that I love, that I have ample time with my family. That I have a husband and children that I love. I could feel good that I make an adequate amount of money to provide my children what they need and a lot of what they want. If I need a comparison, I could find many people much worse off than I. If I look at life this way, I am indeed blessed and I see it and I feel it.

When my focus is on the positives, those are what I invest in, think about and put effort into, therefor making those things even better. When my focus is on the negative, I become a negative person. You all know them. The ones who never have a positive word to say about anything. And nothing is ever their fault. The world is against them, other people are evil and nothing ever works right. It’s a very rare person who truly has no positives to look at. But if you only look at the negatives and complain all the time, you can drive the positives away. People feel drained by those who only complain and tend to avoid them.

Now, I am not saying that you shouldn’t reach out when you need help or that you shouldn’t let others know when things are rough with you. But when you see every day through the lens of “poor me” it affects your mood and how those around you perceive you. Indeed, those people who will listen and help you are your support system, your tribe and you should feel grateful and appreciative to have them!

What I am saying is that you should count your blessings daily! Even if you feel like things are bleak and you have few blessings. Count those few and make a plan on how to begin to improve the rest. Life will still knock you down, but you get back up and keep finding the positives! I could not live any other way. And trust me, I’ve been knocked down again and again. But if I did not have the outlook I have, I would have given up long ago. I’m so very glad that I didn’t!

A positive mental attitude isn’t just a pop culture catch phrase. It’s a necessity!

The Vessel

She tilted her head to the left and contemplated the vessel in front of her. It’s sleek, smooth metal was cold to the touch. It had an otherworldly shimmer to it. The color was something she couldn’t quite place. Almost a cross between blue and red, yet not purple. She was mesmerized by it.

The vessel gave off a soft hum as it hovered in the air in front of her, quivering. There was energy in the air she could taste. It smelled like metallic snow. She took an involuntary step forward and reached a tentative hand out toward it. She placed a palm on the shimmering air in front of it and felt it shiver beneath her touch. Her hand stopped, pressed flat against a smooth, rolling surface. She gasped in surprise.

The physical touch triggered something and she felt the energy wash over and through her. A nonexistent breeze lifted her short blond hair and she issued a startled, but happy, squeal. It was as if her entire body was made of electricity and she could sense the vessel on the other side of the energy field. She heard no voice, but she knew that she was being issued an invitation.

She never uttered a word. Her decision was made and instantly the barrier dropped and a panel slid open in the side of the vessel. As she approached the ship, the autumn chill seemed to deepen around her and she pulled her jacket closer and hurried forward.

“Catherine! Wait!” a voice cried as she hurried up the steps toward the glowing warmth of the interior of the vessel.

She turned before entering the doorway and regarded the young man she had once loved. Frightened he had stopped on the other side of the energy field.

“What is this thing? What are doing? Don’t go!”

She hesitated only a moment. With a fond but regretful glance, she turned her back on him like he had turned his back on her. Following her up here tonight was too little, too late. Behind her was only heartache, ahead of her was an entire universe waiting just for her. She chose adventure, she chose herself.

The Vessel: Forward

The Vessel: Night

The Vessel: Food Edition

The Vessel: Return to Earth

The Vessel: Frank

Unrequited Love

I haven’t written a new poem in awhile, but I’ve been doing a series of writing prompts that called for one, so here it is! Unrequited love was the theme.

Should have all worked out, but it didn’t. She should be here now, but she isn’t. There’s your trouble, there’s your trouble. ~~ The Dixie Chicks

Unrequited love. Is there anything worse?

 

Pain and frustration

Anguish and loss

All just tokens of a battle

Brilliantly fought.

 

Like daggers that cut

Through your soul

You pour out your heart

For love you can’t hold.

 

Fighting for him

But he doesn’t care

He doesn’t see you

His heart he won’t share.

 

Living in darkness

Crying in pain

Shattering your heart

There’s nothing to gain.

 

 

Abandoned, deserted,

betrayed

Alone in the darkness

You prayed.

 

Empty, desolate, alone

Shutting emotion down

Is your only hope

By love you are bound.

 

Constricting, restricting,

Suffocating you now

You would break free and run

if you only knew how.

 

Silently, slowly,

Dying inside

In agony you suffer

Too much to abide.

 

Wondering why

did you fall

Loving in vain

Is not love at all

Stanford Rapist Case Highlights Rape Culture

You would think I would have learned by now to stay out of  flame wars on Facebook.  But this idea that somehow rape is ok, or that at least the woman is partially responsible for it, because she’s drunk, is just disgusting to me.

I was recently in a Facebook debate with a person kept insisting that it’s just like having something stolen, if you leave it unattended you’re partially responsible. That if women didn’t get drunk, they won’t get raped. Here was my response:

You keep talking about personal responsibility. So let’s talk about it. Let’s use your own scenario of your friend that left the laptop unattended and it was stolen. Your opinion is that she was somewhat responsible for leaving it unattended. I would say she was guilty of being a bit naïve and too trusting, but the person who is responsible for the theft is the thief. I teach my children that stealing is wrong. Stop, period, end. Not that stealing is wrong unless someone leaves their stuff unattended, then they are only 50% responsible for their own actions. Even if someone is naïve enough to leave valuables unattended, I am a good enough human being not to steal it from them. If I did steal it, I could not use “it was left unattended” as a defense in my trail. Because that’s not a defense.  That’s the thief trying to shift blame.

And that’s what’s going on here with the “she was drunk” defense. You keep harping on the fact that women shouldn’t put themselves into a bad position. Certainly they shouldn’t. Do you think that I, as a woman, don’t know that? That I don’t spend more time that I ought to have to thinking up ways to protect myself and my daughters from men? Of course I do, of course you do, of course all women do.

But what you are missing with that argument are these two things:

1. That we shouldn’t have to. That argument right there is what we mean by “rape culture”. The notion that women, by failure to protect themselves from men, as at least equally responsible for their own brutalization. Rather than holding MEN accountable to be a decent human being and not rape, attack and brutalize a woman, even a drunk, defenseless one.

2. That even if you do all you can to protect yourself most of the time and you slip, you let yourself be human, even once, even one time you let your guard down, you forgot to be ever vigilante, and are attacked, then suddenly it’s your fault. Yes, even the most vigilant of us can slip, can forget for a moment that we must be ever vigilant. Relax, drink too much and enjoy a night with our friends, walk down that deserted street at night because my apartment is really close and I really need to get home, etc. No one can be 100% vigilante 100% of the time. A woman shouldn’t be blamed for not being superhuman and able to keep up the vigilance 100% of the time. Why? See #1.

The truth is that there are men out there who are predators.  You can be the most vigilant and “good” person in the world and this can still happen to you. I believe that maybe it makes some women feel better when they can put some blame on the victim, for being in the wrong place, participating in parties, being drunk etc. because then they have the illusion that it can’t happen to them. But it can. It can happen in your own home. By shifting the blame to the victim it allows them to feel safer.

But shifting the blame to the victim also alleviates the personal responsibility of the man. Rape is wrong, period, end, stop. Even if a woman has been promiscuous and even if she’s passed out drunk, when a man rapes a woman, he is 100% at fault. He is the one we should be yelling about personal responsibility to. Not letting them off with a pass because the victim was drunk.

Gorilla shot to save child, internet loses it’s mind

It’s a tragedy that the gorilla was shot and killed when zoo employees had to rescue the boy who fell in. I’ve seen the media rush to judge this mom and even the four year old child. But every eye witness account says she was RIGHT there and that it happened so fast no one could stop him though several people tried. One day I was walking through a parking lot with a baby carrier holding two small childrens hands. Specifically terrified of the traffic in this busy parking lot. The wind blew the blanket off the baby. His brother YANKED his hand free and darted back to get it before I had time to react. Had a car been coming, he would have been dead and I would have been labeled a bad parent. It made me realize that most people don’t realize what can happen in a single instant even when you’re right there and paying attention! I hate that this happened too but maybe we should be asking why a child was able to get through these “barriers” so quickly that a crowd of people standing right there couldn’t stop him. It was a terrible, awful tragedy but stop attacking this mother, just stop.

Bye Felipe!

So I ran across this article by Annalee Newitz that poists the terrifying possibility that the current level of equality enjoyed by, or at least theoretically afforded to, women today, is an anomaly. Why? Well, as she states in her article,

“I grew up in a pretty conservative area, and yet as a teenager I was taught that abortion was every woman’s right, and that “blaming the victim” in rape cases was something that only those terrible people back in the 1950s had done. Now that I’m an adult, the 1950s don’t seem so very long ago to me — especially when women who say they’ve been raped are pilloried and psychologically brutalized on the internet. And abortion rights are eroding in many U.S. states.”

You can read it here

She’s absolutely right! Ourfuture.org just posted this list of five ways the U.S. is failing to protect women’s rights in the workplace. And that’s just in the workplace.

The problem, as I see it, is a lack of respect for women. It’s no secret that regimes and cultures that cruelly oppress women have no respect for them. It’s more troubling to realize how little respect many American men have for them. I mean, we think we are more evolved than that.  American men are more enlightened, right?  Apparently, wrong.

Alexandra Tweten set up an instagram account where women can upload screen shots of verbal abuse flung at them by random men on the internet. The responses men give to even a polite rejection are frightening. Sometimes all it seems to take is not receiving a quick enough response to prompt threats of violence or name calling. You can check out all the horrifying responses here.

I also stumbled across this article about a woman’s response to man on OK Cupid who messaged her out of the blue to call her a liar about her typing speed, which she disproved. The guy was being a jerk, but not on the level of the bye felipe guys. What bothered me most about this article were the comments posted by people who thought the guys behavior was absolutely fine and the woman was just being “too uptight”.

Is this really where we, as a society, are at? Both the men whose responses to women are on display on the Bye Felipe instagram account and the commenter’s on the typing article seem to see women as totally unworthy of respect and self determination. If a man wants her attention, she is somehow obligated to give it to him and to be grateful he wants it. Simply not being interested pegs her as a “stuck up bitch” or generates threats of violence and rape.

Is this a result of “conservative values”?  After all, Phyllis Schlafly, conservative poster girl, recently opined that sexual assault on college campuses is caused by letting in too many women (see more about that here). Typical conservative dribble that men’s desire and bad behavior is someone the woman’s fault, for being, you know, a woman.

Frightening, is what it is.

Social Media and the Mommy Wars

I use to think that the “mommy wars” were either something made up by the media or something that had long since been laid to rest. After all, I had never encountered it.

I was 22 years old when I had my first baby and judging by the reactions of friends, family and the cashier at the grocery store, I was doing it all wrong. (When did it become socially acceptable for total strangers to get a vote on how you raise your child anyway?). I picked him up when he cried, so obviously he would be spoiled rotten with inadequate lung development. I didn’t spank him, so obviously he was heading for prison. He slept in the bed with us, so obviously we were heading for a divorce. Well, we did end up divorced, but that certainly wasn’t a causal factor! My current husband and I have raised and co-slept with four children, all healthy and well adjusted and our nearly 13 year old marriage is doing just fine thankyouverymuch!

There have always been and will always be difference of opinions on how to raise children, differences in backgrounds, culture and experiences that play into these decisions.  And parenting trends cycle around, by the way. I raise my children more like my grandmother did than my mother did. Part of that is the natural tendency to rebel and do things differently from our parents I’m sure. But just try telling someone hell bent on converting you and showing you the error of your parenting ways that they are involved in a “parenting trend”. That should get some heads to explode.

Look, I have very good reasons for the decisions that I make and I’m sure you do too. Maybe we match up on some ideas, maybe not so much on others. Here’s the thing, are you ready for this? THAT’S OK!!  Yes, it is! People are different, children are different. Even children with the exact same parents growing up in the exact same environment are different. And that’s OK too. It’s why what I do at my house might not look like what you do at your house. It doesn’t make one of us right and one of us wrong, it just makes us different.

It’s really been with the advent of Facebook and other social media that I’ve noticed, not just an increase, but an escalation in the so called mommy wars. Sitting behind a keyboard anonymously attacking and judging strangers is much easier than looking a friend, neighbor or sister in the eye and telling her that her kids are stupid and going to grow up to flip burgers, that’s she’s a horrible parent who should have her children taken away from her or that people like her should just die. Seem extreme? Yes, I agree and yet I’ve witnessed every one of these attacks online. No one would say that to someone in real life, no one. Especially not to someone they know and love, or at least like and respect.

It’s much harder to paint that mom that breastfeeds past the age of two, home-schools or doesn’t vaccinate her children as a ignorant, slobbering, red neck, sociopath when you’ve sat next to her in PTA meetings, had play dates with her perfectly well behaved and socialized children and watched her bring casseroles to a sick neighbor, take in that stray dog and run to the aid of other people’s children on the neighborhood playground. You might not understand why she makes some of the choices she does, but you accept that you are different and move on because you like her. Much easier to assume the stranger online who does those same things (and that you know nothing else about) is some kind of selfish monster who lives her life just to piss you off.

I guess the hardest part for me is understanding the seething hatred that seems to emanate so easily and quickly from other people over the simplest differences. Why does it matter if your sister in laws children attend public, private or home-school? How does that affect you in any way? I have a theory. I’ve come to the conclusion, based on my experiences and people I’ve interacted with, that those who are most angry and hostile over other peoples choices are the ones who are least secure in their own. Deep down they question their choices and instead of admitting that, they lash out. They have a pathological need to make anyone who makes different choices “wrong” in order to prove themselves “right” by comparison. The reality is, there is not right or wrong (as long as abuse isn’t involved). There’s just different.

I’m perfectly secure in my choices and it does not anger me nor threaten me in anyway for my friends and family members to make choices that are different than my own. I have friends who home school and friends who public school, they all love their children. I have friends who co-sleep and those who don’t, none of them are monsters who don’t care about their children. We need to not focus on the things that divide us, but the things that unite us and we need to support each other. If we can’t agree, it’s OK to disagree and failing that, it’s OK to delete negative people from your Facebook feed!

My Facebook Sabbatical

So what exactly did I learn from my week without Facebook? More than you would expect as it turns out.

First of all I went into this believing  that facebook was a huge time waster,  keeping me from doing more productive things. Turns out Facebook really isn’t that big of a culprit, most of the time if I’m playing on Facebook it’s because I’m tied down and I can’t do anything else anyway. I still have a nursing child and at times when I’m nursing, there  is nothing much else to do. I used to watch TV while she nursed but now more often than not cartoons are on the TV or we are in a room without a TV. Reading is always nice but  for some reason she’s going through a phase where she likes to slap the book out of my hands every time I pick one up while she’s nursing! So while I do get some reading done and some TV watching done, by and large I’m left with my phone for entertainment. With facebook not being an option what I found myself doing was playing games, talk about time wasters! I went from checking in with dragon city and Moshi village once a day to being on there, well, kind of a lot and also downloaded some new games!

Tell you something else about Facebook, the games are truly a time waster but Facebook isn’t. Facebook is a connection with the rest of the world. Now I imagine it could be a huge time waster if I just spent all my time on there, but what I realized is, I really don’t spend undue amounts of time facebooking per se. I check in multiple times a day but it’s usually just a couple of minutes here and there. I enjoy seeing what my friends are up to and I enjoy posting what we’re up to. If I’m on there an undue amount of time it’s because I’m reading articles that come across my feed.

Here’s what happened during the week that I was not on Facebook: we got a new puppy, my oldest daughter reunited with her best friend who wanted to tag me in things and put it on facebook, we went to a charity event called gingerbread for Humanity where you buy and decorate a gingerbread house and the proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity. My kids were really cute eating as much as they put on the house and getting frosting all over themselves and I really wanted to post those things and share them with the people on Facebook. Honestly, it takes me less time to post a quick status or quick picture in the moment then it did at the end of that week to go back and upload things and try to remember things and put everything out there that I wanted to share. So in conclusion, Facebook might take a little bit of time but for what I get out of it it’s completely worth it and it’s not a huge time suck. When I have a good book to read or something I want to watch on TV, I put the phone down anyway so I don’t think I needed forced sabbatical other than to help me realize the facebook is not my problem, procrastination is.

One more thing, without Facebook I managed to find substitutions anyway. I put status updates on Twitter and I put pictures on Instagram and yes I did blog a little more. But I don’t really like Instagram and Twitter that much and I prefer having my pictures and updates in one place and I have a lot more followers on Facebook and I feel like Facebook is more interactive than those other mediums. So all in all I definitely didn’t save any time since I found other ways to post anyway.

I think what I really learned is what I’ve known all along, and that is, I will get my productive time back when my baby is weaned. Until then I will continue to scroll through Facebook and click through on articles because that’s where most of my facebook time is going when I’m there, not facebooking per se, but clicking through and reading articles. And considering I read a lot of scientific articles and child development articles and things from Psychology Today, I don’t know if you’d  call it wasted time or not. Beats staring at the wall!

One last thing I did learn is that with the WordPress app and voice to text I’m actually able to blog while nursing, which I didn’t see it as an option before, so maybe it was worth the week off after all!

A week without facebook

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve gone and accepted a challenge to go facebook free for an entire week! My first thought was that moving the icon and disabling notifications may not be enough. I may have to uninstall the app from my smartphone entirely.  My very next thought was that I should post status update about my progress! It took a moment to realize the folly there, I can’t do that because I can’t post to Facebook! Then I remembered that the entire point of my original assertation that I could indeed forgo my social media addiction was to open up time for other pursuits. I used to be a pretty productive person, I’ve been known to work a 40 hour week, attend school full time and raise a house full of children, all while maintaining a small farm, keeping a blog and still managing to have some semblance of a social life. What happened to that woman? The sheer ease and convenience of technology combining social media and my smartphone is what happened. It’s insidious in how gradually it takes over your life. For me, it was a nursing baby that did me in! Being tied down in a position that makes it most uncomfortable to try to type or write,  having a child who won’t let me read because she prefers to grab and throw my book, combined with the lack of quality programming on TV these days, pretty much left me my smartphone for entertainment during those long nursing sessions. Well you can only play so much Dragon City and Mafia Wars, eventually I was forced to amuse myself on social media. Don’t judge me, it beats staring at the wall! Point is, it occurred to me that reviving my poor neglected blog would be a pretty productive use of the time regained by staying off of Facebook. Which pretty much explains what I’m doing blogging at 1 a.m. I’ve been meaning for a while to get back in the habit of writing again. No time like the present! I think everyone should take a week off Facebook and keep track of how much more stuff you get done without it then you do with it. Seriously, there should be a national stay off of Facebook week! My sister bet me a German chocolate cake that I couldn’t do it! Luckily she didn’t bet me that I couldn’t stay off of technology altogether, therefore I get to blog and tweet about my progress! Maybe we can make it a hashtag. #stayoffoffacebookweek. Why not?

See the results here